Setting Boundaries

Below is one of my first posts from my old side, but a great reminder and also a good book that I would recommend to anyone. Hopefully logging in and commenting is working now, if not, do let me know. I had to turn off some other features and just allow you to connect straight to Google/Facebook to sign up and comment.

Boundaries is something that every leader, professional and individual needs to keep in mind. I’m reminded of that today as I’m in the middle of setting up my boundaries and have been taking action on them this week. This is forefront to my mind because I’ve been struggling to read through a book called Boundaries by John Townsend. I say struggling cause I have not made the time to read it, not because it is a bad book, just because it is not that enrapturing pull you in type of read but overall provides some great sound advice. The other reason this comes to my mind is because I am 5 weeks into a new job, with the first 4 weeks splitting time between the two, so this was the first week 100% in on my new role and the need for boundaries is evident. 

What can you do to set boundaries? Why do you need to set boundaries? And How do you go about doing so? 

Most important is why! Boundaries are there to enable you to accomplish what you need to do, not just selfishly but they could be boundaries to enable you to get home at a certain hour for your family, or ensure you have the time to workout or to set time aside for your employees or team. This is one area that I’m usually pretty good at. I’m quick to tell people that when I leave work I shut down my laptop and do not expect to boot it back up again till the next day. Very rarely will you find me on my laptop doing work at night. Sure, I might occasionally do it because of a deadline or an urgent text message, but I do not make a habit of it and I’m clear that after 5, that is my time, my family’s time, and not work. 

I’ll often tell young up and coming individuals to start setting their boundaries now. Too many times you see a sharp, get after it hire come into the company and take on whatever work they can, working late hours and doing it all. Sure this is great and they get a lot of accolades and may even see some fast promotions, but at what sacrifice. That is the question and the response is usually, “Well I’m single, so this isn’t a problem.” My response is simple, do you want to be single forever, do you want your life to be about your work. Maybe this person does want to be single, but I’m sure they want more to life than work. I’m sure they have some hobbies or things they love outside of work. Don’t forget that, setup the time you need early and often, have a life outside of work and nurture it. You deserve it. The book the Christmas Carol is all about a grump Scrooge, who poured his life into his work and he became bitter and cranky. Maybe you won’t become a Scrooge, but I’m sure you will get burned out at some point, look for something new and ultimately not be able to bring your best to work. 

So now what can you do? Maybe you have been working yourself to the bone, doing anything that everyone asks you, but you need a change. The answer is simple, start saying no, start setting some limits. Maybe you need to ease into it a bit, back off here and there. You may be important and all you have on your plate may be important, but I’m sure something rises to the top, so figure out what is most important, prioritize it and deprioritize something else. All of us have worked for that boss that is constantly throwing out urgent requests, sometimes she will throw it out there and never ask for it again. Those are the types of bosses you need to ask questions of, get priorities on, and sometimes you need to let them know you have these other tasks that you are going to focus on first. If it is really that important then they will deprioritize those other things to get to this one. What happens when they don’t deprioritize...you simply put it to the bottom of the tasks and circle back later when it is time to figure it out, if it is important this boss will still want it done. 

I encourage you to give Boundaries a read, I’m still working my way through it but guarantee just in the first 100 pages you will get some great advice that you can apply. For me, I’ve applied it this week. Work came my way for my old role and I asked who to assign it to. As I wrapped up a quick 20 min. call related to my old job, I told them I would copy someone with instructions to take it from here, but need to focus on my new role. My success in my new role requires my focus and commitment, so a clear line had to be set to prevent continued work from flowing in.